It was only 2 hours away from new years. I was left to myself, whether I wanted it that way or not. After almost a day of retreating in my shell of feeling deprived (of I dont know what), I slapped my attitude and decided to just speak to him. I asked Abba..."Do you know how much I love you....?...."
I was quite surprised at the next thought that dropped in me. I had always seen these images of Jesus Christ that have been painted and sketched and framed at homes and shops. I wondered if I had subconsciously perceived that as HIS face and HIS image.
"What if he looked totally different? What if he looked like....um....dark,short and weird?....what if he looked like...INDRANS..?!..". I laughed a bit and then was quite shocked myself....I couldnt digest that he would look like any different from the way I had imagined. And...did that mean I was subconsciously never loving him only because of what he's done for me and his love for me?...."Did that mean...I did not love you the way I thought I did, Pa?"
I knew the answer for the question I had asked him in the beginning...Yes, he did know how much I love him. It just wasn't enough. I felt something new that night...
New love...deeper love.
I just wished...that he would come down and give me the tightest embrace....
I was quite surprised at the next thought that dropped in me. I had always seen these images of Jesus Christ that have been painted and sketched and framed at homes and shops. I wondered if I had subconsciously perceived that as HIS face and HIS image.
"What if he looked totally different? What if he looked like....um....dark,short and weird?....what if he looked like...INDRANS..?!..". I laughed a bit and then was quite shocked myself....I couldnt digest that he would look like any different from the way I had imagined. And...did that mean I was subconsciously never loving him only because of what he's done for me and his love for me?...."Did that mean...I did not love you the way I thought I did, Pa?"
I knew the answer for the question I had asked him in the beginning...Yes, he did know how much I love him. It just wasn't enough. I felt something new that night...
New love...deeper love.
I just wished...that he would come down and give me the tightest embrace....
