Written long back. Took me a lot of thought to choose to post this. (even after a few edits..lol) But, well..Its was one of those days when you wonder what the purpose of your life is. I've found mine today. A little intense for only people who know me (someone says so...;))...
Yesterday was one of those days when I felt the rope around my waist pull me down to the valleys of darkness. Once again my heart sank within me, hopes of revival crushed. I wondered why the ones I once loved were against me...How long would this wrath of theirs continue to burn my heart? For a quick moment I even felt like this darkness would never go away from my life. I thought of ways to erase this hurt....and in one insane corner of my mind I was wishing that I'd be taken away to a place where I'd feel this hurt no more.
Some people walk away from our lives forever, some are made to leave....and slowly the realisation that all of us come alone to this world and are indeed alone, that only you can can understand why you made the choices you made, that only God can explain why you are in the path that you are....gets stronger as you grow older...or rather grow wiser.
When I thought of choosing to dwell in the most scary thoughts over choosing life, one of those videos that I once saw came to my mind - Lifehouse - Everything skit. I couldn't agree more to being the girl in the video. Even after knowing the presence of God in my life, even after preaching words of faith to people I knew in the last one month, I was at this moment last night where I felt like God had let me go.....hopeless in thought, something pulled me to the laptop and I saw the video once again.......
....it was miraculous how I felt like I have never seen this before or fathomed the depth of the video....there was this reaffirmation my Father was at the other end pulling the rope to get me back in track....Last night, I was so blinded by the darkness in my life that I did not see him trying to get to me. The darn thought of not choosing life was putting me down so much that I could not extend my hand out to the hand that was trying to hold me....
Broke down once more before his presence, to believe stronger than yesterday that the night is lifted and nothing ever can stop me from believing that....This day,this hour is new,filled with new promises and a constantly reviving hope of living those unfinished dreams..Above all, I'm just glad that I lived today with all my heart....doing all those little things I loved to do......grateful for the breath of life, a complete wipe out of fear and a revived passion for all the beautiful things in this world...It is how WE CHOOSE to take life, like one friend said,Yesterday was one of those days when I felt the rope around my waist pull me down to the valleys of darkness. Once again my heart sank within me, hopes of revival crushed. I wondered why the ones I once loved were against me...How long would this wrath of theirs continue to burn my heart? For a quick moment I even felt like this darkness would never go away from my life. I thought of ways to erase this hurt....and in one insane corner of my mind I was wishing that I'd be taken away to a place where I'd feel this hurt no more.
Some people walk away from our lives forever, some are made to leave....and slowly the realisation that all of us come alone to this world and are indeed alone, that only you can can understand why you made the choices you made, that only God can explain why you are in the path that you are....gets stronger as you grow older...or rather grow wiser.
When I thought of choosing to dwell in the most scary thoughts over choosing life, one of those videos that I once saw came to my mind - Lifehouse - Everything skit. I couldn't agree more to being the girl in the video. Even after knowing the presence of God in my life, even after preaching words of faith to people I knew in the last one month, I was at this moment last night where I felt like God had let me go.....hopeless in thought, something pulled me to the laptop and I saw the video once again.......
....it was miraculous how I felt like I have never seen this before or fathomed the depth of the video....there was this reaffirmation my Father was at the other end pulling the rope to get me back in track....Last night, I was so blinded by the darkness in my life that I did not see him trying to get to me. The darn thought of not choosing life was putting me down so much that I could not extend my hand out to the hand that was trying to hold me....
"When we ask for strength, God gives us the oppurtunity to be strong...."
We can either choose to die each moment of life or choose to flap our wings against the wind and fly higher.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA
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