Painting the masterpiece - My first testimony of faith

Faith...isn't faith until it is all we are holding onto.

This is my first testimony on faith. On God.

I lived on the understanding that I knew all about him because he was like a friend. But then came other friends. And we went out of touch… and I….stayed out of touch until…

Today. He is more than a friend. And what I write below is our first real conversation. Of how he held out his hand to me. I believe they say it is uncool to write on God and on your beliefs in him. But I find it hard to not stand up for him. One of the many reasons being,he stood up for me.

On the corner of my bed, with the phone on one hand and my bible in the other. 3 long hours of a heart breaking conversation, struggling to make a decision. I kept flipping the pages in the bible to look for a sign that helped me take my decision. I always looked for signs to believe.

There were so many lives that were at stake. There were just 2 roads before me. The one on the right and the one on the left.

I knew the road to the left. I had been there and every step I took would lead me to where I know I would be. It is a human trait to prefer security and predictability. The brains prefer the known road even if it may be filled with rubble and dust. A known devil is better than an unknown angel.

The road to the right was that to complete unpredictability. Every step on such a road is a leap of faith, guided by the voice of your heart.

It wasn’t long after a conflict between the heart and the brains, that my heart won. After painting a picture of life that relied on my understanding alone, what I have on my canvas was not the masterpiece I wanted. I decided to let go of the rope that I was hanging on to. No. The rope is not a person or a relationship. It was the fact that I relied mostly on my understanding and the permutations and combinations that my brains worked out (even after knowing I was a pity at mathematics)!

I decided to take a leap of faith and believe that the road on the right is the right one indeed. It would lead me to unpredictability of a lifetime. I would have to hold the hands of a God I believe in and walk straight into the pitch dark room and believe he would take me to the right place, and would hold me if i tumble and fall. I would have to rely not just on my understanding, but my faith in a God we call Father.

Soon after I took the decision and announced it to all that mattered, I shut myself in the room. I opened the bible once again. My eyes fell on 2 verses –

“1 But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.”

There was just one lesson to be learnt. God did not want me to look for signs first to believe that he is taking care of me and taking control over my life. He wanted me to believe first so that I will see the signs he was waiting to show me.

I let go of the rope . I have not fallen. I am flying instead. Flying away through an unpredictable road. In faith. Some day, in his time, the masterpiece on my canvas will be complete.