A song for God : I have a new born story

I was weak and I had fallen..
My slender wings were broken..
I was blind, with no direction..
I couldn't feel, not even your passion..

And then I saw you lift me up in your wings..
Soaring high and above, you wiped my tears..
In my weakness, I felt your strength..
In your shadow, now with all my heart I sing..

You are my love, my perfect love!!
Robed with compassion, my father above!!
You've clothed my life with your amazing glory!!
And now, I have a new born story!!

A wheel of life - old friends.

A pack of 15 year old girls that cooed and cried in awe at the sound of the then-teen-pop-sensation the backstreet boys. For whom those first crushes shared were then the die hard secrets of a lifetime. A blend of tomboys and pretty dames that gelled and defined laughter at the together-times by the corridors of the school, near the next best happening place behind the school which was the newest stuffed toys and cards gallery in the vicinity, on the walls and by the roads of the buildings, at the stuffed row of one of the backward seats in the church. These frames flashed in black and white before me today as we, now the 24 year olds, walked hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, back in the same place where our little story of friendship began.

The dusty ground side beside our school and the huge space near the basket ball court were replaced by the stretch of the now trendy mall. Everything around us were a lot different now. But the hold of our hands, the feel of one's hand on the others' shoulder, the synergy of the music of our voices together singing the same old songs as we walked the stretch. It was still the same. Time travelled far enough to change each of our lives into mazes that we probably are still hazy in figuring out. But the touch, feel and music of friendship did not change one bit. It was still fresh. Still old. Still gold.

8 years back, hyper teens let loose to create a war of our own free will and thoughts. Today, we witnessed one of us wear her engagement ring standing in a glow so beautiful next to her groom to be. I ran up to her and hugged her, whispering to each other how much we missed each other. The girl that was the craziest among us and the closest to me stepping into a new life. She deserved every bit of that glow on her face and none of us standing around her could agree more. As she walked into her car as a lady now, a flash of the young teenage her flashed in my mind. For a moment, I wanted to pull her back into the midst of where the rest of us stood and travel back in time to the school corridors wearing those grey skirts, white shirts and the marroon tie.

Leaving her with her love, we the ladies that had no marriage in mind, now walked in our singledom, in our friendship. As dinner proceeded, we talked and caught up on nothing that we missed out on each others' lives all these 6 years. Instead, we laughed, we chuckled, we cracked up. For nothing. For everything. Cos back then and even today, we needed no better reason than the togetherness itself for a smile to glow through our faces.

The evening is done and I'm retreating back to bed from where I get a view of the beautiful moon through the shady window. Everything looks beautiful.

Fall.Rise...

It is more than just amazing how each day of your life can teach you a lesson more valuable than the one you learnt on the day that just wrapped itself up. Sometimes, with the night that passes by, we sleep over some of the lessons that we do not wish to have learnt at all. Simply because truth hurts. And hurt...is something we do not want to take with us the next day. Amazing it is, when you dont even have to step out of your house to learn what will be the most valuable lessons that you carry along with you for all life.

Like the new dawn that breaks in every day, I wish to wake up with a new hope. Sometimes. Even as a new person. Renewed.

This day brought forth a new lesson to me. On companionship. A quote in Don Quixote goes like this..Tell me thy company and I will tell thee what thou art. The words are in a book. But the essence is the experience. The experience of a girl that was fun loving, outgoing, full of life was a reflection of her friendships. When suddenly she choses to be within the confines of white walls, she wonders to herself what she reflects. When slowly all companionship drains out amidst the time of life when she needs a voice that nods to her silent conversations, she wonders if she reflects emptiness...for companionship looks point blank to her.

No job, no love, no relationships. I am in an exploratory phase of the journey that leads to destiny. With a fall each day that makes me rise up with more strength than yesterday, I realise I'm alone but not lonely. The view from where I stand, the 9th floor balcony. When every cloud I look up at is sans the silver lining, there are moments in the day that makes me look beyond the clouds and the thank God I'm alive. This is one such moment. If companionship defines who I am. Today, my companionship is me and the supreme one that sees all. Today, I am who I am.

I fall alone and I fail alone but I rise up alone.